From when I was a small child to today, I have always hated my face.

Over the years, I have spent hours and hours despising my appearance. I spend a lot of time looking in the mirror, using my fingers to chop off my large cheeks. When I was a child, people always remarked how fat my face was. From then till even now, my face disgusts me, and I imagine men are also disgusted by my face, and just my face is enough for them to ignore or insult me .

Yesterday, I was making a "how-to" video for my clients, and when I was editing, I was repulsed by my face and considered not showing my face on my next video.
It's a 50-year-old thought, feeling, action, result cycle. I know it is stopping me from carrying out confident actions. I want to liberate myself, I need to do an intentional model, but when I approach it, I feel tearful and want to sleep so I can hide.

ANSWER

Hello! Congratulations for showing up for coaching on this very emotional circumstance in your life. Good work, sister!

The first thing I want to say is that it’s normal that you feel paralyzed in the face of this situation. It’s been with you for 50 years, so feeling disgusted by your face is your comfort zone. Your brain knows that changing the thought, “I hate my face,” means moving out of your comfort zone and evolving. All of this is normal and a clue that you actually are doing something powerful!

So let’s do this: The circumstance here for this is: my face.

C: My face

Next, you’ll need to do a complete thought download. Grab a piece of paper, and over a few days, take all the thoughts you have about your face (or words you heard other people say) and put it on paper.

C: My face
TD:

Look at these thoughts and remind yourself that these are thoughts, not facts.

Next, you can model out the 3 main thoughts. Let’s do one so you can see the flow.

C: My face
T: I hate my face
F: disgust
A’s: Overthink all the reasons why my face is ugly / Ruminate on childhood memories when an adult told me my face was fat / Overthink about old childhood memories and use them as evidence to prove how ugly my face is / spend time in front of a mirror picking at each part of my face I hate / Avoid showing my face on video / Disrupt my service to my client by not showing fully / Impact my business by not showing up fully / I avoid dealing with this issue for 50 years
R: I find plenty of evidence of how ugly my face is and continue to create evidence for myself of how problematic my face is.

Now…The intentional model. We recommend starting by emotion or action line. This is a case of emotion first!

The way we teach body image is by first aiming for neutrality, not love. So pick an emotion that reflects being neutral. We'll go with calm for now.

C: My face
T: ____________
F: Calm
A’s: __________, ________________, ____________
R: ________

Next, ask yourself how you would act if you felt calm when seeing your face in the mirror? Fill in A line.

C: My face
T: ____________
F: Calm
A’s: Film video for client with face on / look at myself in mirror without emphasizing part i do not like / ……
R: ________

What do you need to think about your face to feel calm? Know that you are not going to feel calm now… but in the future, you will after rewiring your brain to this new thought.

The concept of body neutrality teaches us that the reason why we have a body is not for appearance and beauty but rather for function. Our face function is to eat / breathe / and communicate our emotions to others. Period. Your face is not an ornament.

A basic thought could be: I have a human face.

This is what your intentional model could look like.

C: My face
T: I have a human face
F: Calm
A’s: Film video for a client with face on / look at myself in the mirror without emphasizing the part I do not like /...
R: I interact with my face as with any other part of my body for its function.

Next, I would suggest a thought ladder to help modulate your brain into believing and feeling calm this new thought. I’d suggest you review Confident Lesson 7.

Goal thought: I have a human face.
Ladder: I have a human face to be used for function, not beauty.
Ladder 2: I’m becoming a woman who engages with her face neutrally.
Ladder 3: It’s possible for me to be neutral about my face in the future.
Ladder 2: It’s possible that my brain is lying to me when it’s telling me my face is ugly as a fact.
Ladder 1: There are other humans with fat face that are neutral about their face.
Current thought: I hate my face.

That’s it. Simple! Keep us posted on how your practice goes!

Hello,
I am on the Confident section and putting together my self-coaching models. I'd like feedback on whether I am doing them correctly.

C: New clothes delivered to the house
TD: Will they fit, will I like them on my body, will I be making a trip to the store to return them, will I have to get a larger size
T: Will they fit
E: Anxiety
A: Procrastinate trying on till I'm "in the mood," psych myself up to try them on
R: Try on clothes in a stressed and critical state

Is this correct?

Here is another:
C: Ate a lot of food again
TD: I'm weak, I'll get fat, I'm a bad person, I'm going to gain weight
T: I'm weak
A: Next day only eating "healthy" foods and no snacking
R: Restricting again!

Is this OK?

One other question: is there a place you have the definitions of each component of the Self Coaching model? For example, Stephanie refers to Action as "do or do not do." What is the short definition of each component of the model?

Thanks!!!

ANSWER

Hello!

Overall, my sister, you are doing great work! Very well done!

I'll coach you on the specifics so you can get your self-coaching game to the next level.

The structure is perfect! Where you need to push to the next level is to individualize each thought so you can see the full impact of thinking this way… Also, don't be shy on the A line: take the time to explore all the behaviours you have. I like to write it as A's instead of A to remind myself to be explorative.

Example:

C: New clothes delivered to the house
TD: Will they fit, will I like them on my body, will I be making a trip to the store to return them, will I have to get a larger size
T: Will they fit
E: Anxiety
A: Procrastinate trying on till I'm "in the mood", psych myself up to try them on
R: Try on clothes in a stressed and critical state

T: Will I like them on my body
E:
A's:
R:

T: Will I be making a trip to the store to return them,
E:
A's:
R:

T: Will I have to get a larger size
E:
A's
R:

The same pattern for your other model…

And on your question: We did showcase the model in Lesson 2 video but perhaps not as much as we should. So based on your feedback, we are going to go ahead and update the worksheet for Lesson 2 to add a section to recap the model. Give us a couple of days to do this.

In the meantime, here's what we will add to the worksheet for lesson 2, so you don't have to wait:

The self-coaching model is an easy way to see how our thoughts play out in our lives and create the reality we experience. The framework of the self-coaching model allows you to trace the causal relationship from your thoughts to your result (reality your experience in your current life).

The Model:

C: Circumstance: Neutral facts of the situation that are outside of your current, immediate control
TD: Thought Download: All the thoughts you have about the circumstance
T: Thought: A story your mind tells, which lead to a feeling in your body
F: Feeling: Physical sensations in your body, which lead to actions (and inaction)
A's: Action: How you behave when you think the thought and feel the feeling in the F line (may not reflect what you actually did or would do, but rather what you would do if you acted ONLY from the feeling in the F line.
R: Result: The outcome of your thought, feeling and actions / inactions, as they pertain to you, for this specific situation (circumstance).

Reaching out for support today... I am at my heaviest... ever! and I hate it! I knew it... I could FEEL it, even before the scale confirmed. I am not restricting/binging anymore; I am allowing and trying to tune into my body but the lbs. are piling up and up and up (40 in less than 1 year i.e. panic attacks), and no, I do not want to buy bigger clothes because 1- at 3XL and up I can't find anything nice, and 2- I would feel like giving up on myself. And I would be lying if ultimately I don't want Intuitive Eating to bring me back to a body where I feel more at ease (I didn't say the body I had in my 20's or even after my 3 kids). I am not judging myself or being a real mean girl either; it's just info but... aghhh!??

ANSWER

Hello!

Great courage showing up for coaching.

The first place I want you to acknowledge yourself for is just that: Showing up for coaching on a subject that is very sensitive for you. I bet you’ve had these moments before and never reached out and asked for help… but this time, you did. Well done!

Next, I want you to recognize how normal this reaction to gaining weight is. We have been socialized as women that gaining weight is the most “terrible “ thing that can happen to us. Not only that it’s the most terrible that can happen now that we are also socialized and reminded every day that more “terrible” things will happen to us in the future if we don’t lose the weight… think rejection, judgement, health issues etc… So it’s 100% normal that you are having this reaction to knowing you have gained weight.

The socialization about weight and what it means for you is what you need to change. You need to change the narrartive, aka thoughts you think about your weight.

Your body weight, the number on the scale is neutral… what makes it terrible is your thoughts about it. The good news is that you can change these thoughts… you are a grown-up woman and have the autonomy to think the thoughts you choose about your weight.

Right now, the thoughts you think lead you to have panic attacks, and I bet you you don’t want that?

To change your thoughts, you need to use the self-coaching model. Let me help you with the first few steps.

Currently, this is what is going on in your mind based on your message: (Lesson 4 CONFIDENT)

Circumstance: Body Weight

Thought Download:
I’m heavy
I hate it
I knew I gain weight, and that’s terrible
Pounds are pilling up and up
I don’t want to buy bigger clothes
I can’t find anything nice in larger sizes
Buying clothes that fit means giving up on myself
I hope intuitive eating will help me lose weight
I’m not judging myself

T: Pounds are pilling up and up
F: Anxious
A: panic attacks
R: My body weight feel terrible

Then you would break the main 3-4 thoughts down to see how each one makes you feel, which actions it create, and the result in your life.

T: I hate it
F: _____ (maybe disapointement??)
A: I give up / I overthink about how life was better when I was smaller / ruminate as to why my body is gaining weight / Overthink why this is the worst thing that can happen in my life
R: I prove to myself that I should hate my weight

T: I’m not judging myself
F: frustration
A: Overthink why it’s not a judgement of my body but a fact / ruminate why it’s a fact that gaining weight is terrible
R: I continue to judge my body but I justify it by making it a fact that it’s terrible to gain weight

That’s what self-coaching is about - discovering how we create our reality. Right now, your reality is that gaining weight is terrible. It’s not true. Gaining weight isn’t terrible. What makes it true for you is the thoughts (aka opinion) you have about gaining weight. Can you see that you are in fact, judging yourself, and that’s why you feel terrible?

Body weight is just a number on the scale. Just like your height or the lenght of your hair: They're just numbers… do you judge yourself and your worth into this world because of the length of your nails? (Lesson 4 of CONFIDENT)

You need to neutralize the meaning of weight gain so you can stop feeling terrible and opening the door to peace and freedom. This is the second stage of self-coaching: creating a new way to think about weight that is neutral and not attached to your self-worth. That’s what we call intention thinking. (Lesson 6 of CONFIDENT)

C: Body weight
T: The number on the scale doesn’t mean anything about my worth (this is just an idea… work on finding an intentional thought that will feel good to you.)
F: Calm
A: I stop weighing myself / I peacefully transition to intuitive eating / I listen to my eating cues with compassion / I detach my body weight from my worth / I buy clothes that make me feel comfortable / I ask other women where they buy their clothes / I move my body with joy / I focus on my health beyond my weight / I focus on sleeping better / ….. ( fill in the actions you’d like to create for yourself)
R: I interact with my body with compassion

You may need to use the thought ladder to get you to believe your intentional thought (Lesson 7 of CONFIDENT).

1-It’s possible that my brain is lying to me when I think that gaining weight is a terrible thing

2-There are other women who think that the number on the scale doesn’t mean anything about their worth

3-It’s possible for me in the future to think that the number on the scale doesn’t mean anything about my worth

4- I’m beginning to think that the number on the scale doesn’t mean anything about my worth

5- The number on the scale doesn’t mean anything about my worth

This is it… This is how you self-coach yourself how to get out of this terrible place you are in right now because you gain weight.

I would also recommend you listen to the private podcast 10 where Stephanie teaches about resistance and podcast #12 where she explained the process of gaining weight. One last one… podcast #13 The process of change.

So digest this and come back to us and see how you are doing!

I'd like some help creating a thought ladder. For four years, I was on disability and unable to work. I've since returned to my job and have been back for a year, but I still feel like I'm not totally capable. When I do the self-coaching, I want to feel capable and confident but what I really feel is incapable and inferior. I'd love some help creating a thought ladder that takes me from feeling incapable (ruminating over and analyzing my day) to feeling capable.

Thanks!

ANSWER

Hello and great work showing up for coaching. Let’s create this thought ladder…

The first place we need to start is to determine how you create the reality (R) of “not being totally capable in my job”.

Based on what you shared, this is what your unintentional model looks like:

C: My job
TD:
I’m not totally capable
being on disability makes me less than
Being disable cause me to be out of the loop in my profession (Projecting here…)
…..
F: inferior, incapable
A: ruminating over my day, overthinking about my day and over-analyzing my day.
R: I’m not totally capable in my job.

And you’d like to create the feeling of being capable and confident.

So we recommend focusing on 1 emotion at a time. Let’s say you want to create confidence.

C: My job
T
F: Confident
A:
R:

If you feel confident in your job, what actions would you take? I’m going to project (due to limited information provided about the job or current thoughts about the job): Would it be safe to assume you’d want to make decisions quicker? (less ruminating) Stop questioning your choices and move into action? Make a plan and stick with it for the day?

C: My job
T:
F: Confident
A: Allow myself limited time to make decisions, stick to my decision and start working, disregard other people's opinions about my choices?
R:

Next, you need to figure out the thought you could think of in the future that would create confidence. I have provided 1 suggestion but given the limited details you have provided, it’s very difficult for us to determine the thought that would be helpful.

C: My job
T: I have the abilities to be an excellent _____ (fill in blank to your profession)
F: Confident
A: Allow myself limited time to make decisions, stick to my decision and start working, disregard other people's opinions about my choices?
R: I'm an excellent ____ (fill in blank to your profession)

I’m going to follow my hunch here and say that the Circumstance here is not really your job as much as how you process your disability in relationship to your job (or former disability if you are fully recovered). I think that what really is impacting your ability to feel capable at work….

Have you worked through your thought about your disability or former diagnosis of your disability? Is it possible that you are still holding judgement about it?

C:_____ (disability)

It’s similar to women being in a larger body and thinking that their body size is creating their confidence.

We often start the thought ladder with:

Bottom: It’s possible for women like me (in a large body) to be confident.

There are women like me (in a large body) that are confident.

I’m becoming a woman in a large body that is confident about herself and her abilities.

I’m a woman in a large body that is confident about herself and her abilities.

I’m a confident woman.

How does this resonate with you?

We’d love to hear from you. Perhaps fill in the blanks and resubmit, and we will help you with the next steps.

Hello,
I’m struggling with the program and loving the big body I’m in. I don’t want to love my big body because it’s the cause of my low-self esteem. My questions are, can I succeed with this program if I don’t want to love the big body I’m in? What if I still believe in diet culture and losing weight?

ANSWER

Hello!

This is such a great question. I have a lot of good news for you.

Here's the first good news for you, sister: You don't have to love yourself or love your body. That's not what we do here at Beyond The Food. We do not teach self-love or body love. We teach women how to be neutral about their bodies and how to respect themselves.

Body love or self-love is BS… On this, please go listen to private podcast #21. It will help you tremendously to understand this concept and why it's essential for you.

I would suggest listening to the Beyond The Food podcast #255 Body neutrality it will help you understand the difference.

What you need to aim for is body respect.

Next good news for you: Self-esteem is not the product of any external feature, including body size. Self-esteem is the outcome of the way you think about yourself. Self-esteem is produced by the thoughts you entertain in your mind about yourself. This is why some large-bodied women have high self-esteem, and some thin women have poor self-esteem.

The belief you have that your self-esteem is related to your body size is completely normal. This is what diet culture is telling us every day. It's likely what you have been socialized to from a very young age (like the rest of us).

Patriarchy created diet culture in order to indoctrinate women into the belief that thinner is better, and the solution is shrinking their body (aka dieting). So it's no surprise that you think like this now… that's what unlearning diet culture is all about.

To your comment: "What if I still believe diet culture?". Recognizing diet culture exists is recognizing that the thin ideal is not true, meaning that to feel worthy as a woman, you do not have to fit a certain beauty ideal.

Every human is born worthy, including women. Self-worth aka self-esteem, is not something to be earned. It's not something you have to work hard at. Self-worth and self-esteem is your birthright. This is why women who lose weight do not feel better about themselves. Once they temporarily check the box of body size, they move on to the next issue- they need to fix about themselves so they can earn their self-esteem. This leads to the relentless chase for self-worth that never ends….

This is the work you have to do… reprogram your belief system that you are worthy. This reprogramming is done using the self-coaching model and taught to you inside the CONFIDENT course (first month inside Conquer and Thrive). I would suggest you do a model on C: Self-worth and submit it to Coach corner, and we will help you.

Next: "What if I want to lose weight??. We live in a free world, my sister and as a woman you are totally empowered to make decisions about your body. Your body, your choice. That's the premise of Beyond The Food. We don't teach you how to do this here. There's an $82 billion weight loss industry awaiting to offer you solutions.

The only coaching I will give you is this one: Before embarking on the next diet, take time to do it fully conscious of the outcome: 91-95% of chances you will lose some weight and gaining it back within 1-5 years.

Lastly, leave you with this: Go back to CONFIDENT course lesson 1 and use the love versus fear decision matrix to analyze your decision. Make sure that your decision is from a place of love and not fear. That's the only way to create happiness, health, and peace in one's life.

Hope this helps and will be waiting on your self-coaching model on self-worth!

C: Intuitive Eating
TD: I was an intuitive eater until my mid-30s, and relearning it, I wish I could lose weight while eating intuitively. Sometimes I think of intuitive eating as a free pass to eat whatever I want. It's hard to see coaches who teach intuitive eating and are skinny. I feel I should be a thin intuitive eating coach.

T: I wish I could lose weight while eating intuitively
F: hopeful
A: I practise intuitive eating like a diet, I stop myself from eating things that satisfy me and then find myself overeating them later.
R: still in diet mentality mode and not really an intuitive eater.

T: I think of intuitive eating as a free pass to eat whatever I want
F: guilty
A: fight that thought, rein in on how I eat, become more controlling, and it becomes a diet. I eat what I think I should eat and then find myself overeating things that I restrict
R: still in diet mentality mode with a focus on weight loss and less on making peace.

T: I should be a thin intuitive eating coach
F: rejected
A: I reject myself as a coach and don't show up and practice. I fall out of integrity with what I want to help women with
R: I don't show up as an intuitive eating coach at all

ANSWER

Hello!

Since there is not direct question or request, I will assume that you want coaching on your self-coaching model. If this is incorrect, please let us know and resubmit. I will also coach you on intuitive eating.

The first place to start is on your self-coaching model. Overall this is really good unintentional on self-coaching. You have a lot of thoughts on intuitive eat I will assume you haven't done LIBERATE yet as it would appear that you also have fatphobic thoughts about body size. I would suggest you explore it separately or wait for you to have access to the body image course.

Based on your thought download, it appears that you are a professional, so you will need to separate your self-coaching about your personal experience with intuitive eating and your coaching abilities as an intuitive eating coach.

I will assume you haven't completed the PEACEFUL course, which will help you with your understanding of intuitive eating principles. Your personal experience with healing your relationship to food and learning intuitive eating for yourself will be the ground for your professional skills. What you carry for yourself in your belief system will impact your coaching. So I'm not sure if you are in practice now, but I would suggest that you have work to do on yourself prior to coaching others.

Let's look at your first model.... your C is great. TD is good.

I would watch for thoughts that start with " I feel...." thoughts are not feelings. When you use I feel... what do you really think and believe? Most often, when we use " I feel..." or "Sometimes..." we are avoiding see the real thought hiding. So when you say, " I feel I should be skinny..." get real and honest: Do you have a belief or the thought that you need to be thin to be an intuitive eating coach?

The model is contradictory...
T: I wish I could lose weight while eating intuitively
F: hopeful
A: I practice intuitive eating like a diet. I stop myself from eating things that satisfy me and then find myself overeating them later.
R: still in diet mentality mode and not really an intuitive eater.

Do you believe that intuitive eating is a weight loss diet? Is that why you feel hopeful?

What makes me question the model is that you say you feel hopeful which means you have a desire to lose weight and that you hope that intuitive eating will help you with this goal. But at the same time, you have an action that goes against intuitive eating principles... So it's either that you have a wrong understanding of IE (you think it's a weight loss diet) or that you aren't clear on your true feeling.

Here's a question that may help you: When you look outside of IE, when you feel hopeful, how do you behave? Do you take action that goes against what you are hopeful for?

The R is this model isn't 100 accurate. When you think, "I wish I could lose weight," and you take the A's, you have listed what you are actually creating is a constant focus on weight loss for yourself.

The second model:
T: I think of intuitive eating as a free pass to eat whatever I want
F: guilty
A: fight that thought, rein in on how I eat, become more controlling, and it becomes a diet. I eat what I think I should eat and then find myself overeating things that I restrict
R: still in diet mentality mode with a focus on weight loss and less on making peace.

You R is actually bringing your T in reality: You eat whatever you want, disregarding the basics principles of intuitive eating (hunger/ fullness and satisfaction cues).

I would suggest that your next step is to get started with PEACEFUL - The Intuitive Eating Project so you can have a clear path to learn intuitive eating and be able to build an intentional model that would be aligned what Intuitive Eating that doesn't co-opt dieting or diet culture.

If we missed anything or need further help, feel free to submit again.

I don't know if I am going through the model exactly right... but here's what I came up with after watching several of the confident model videos. I have the unintentional (current) and intentional (desired) model. Would love any feedback you might offer!

C: I teach people about health and nutrition. I am in a larger body.
TD:
Nobody is going to take me seriously.
I don't look healthy to other people.
My body shape reflects poorly on my professional goals.
I need to lose weight to be able to get clients who trust me.

T: My body shape reflects poorly on my professional goals.

F: Shame, avoidance

A: I do not get in front of the camera or in front of people as often as I should.
I do not speak to my services with the level of confidence that I really have in them.

R: If nobody sees me, nobody knows me, and it is slow to gain clients for my business.

C: I teach people about health and nutrition. I am in a larger body.

T: Body size has very little to do with health.
People judging my body probably are not ready to ditch diet culture and be my clients right now anyhow.
I know that my insides are healthy, and what others presume to know has no relevance.
Potential clients seeing me in a larger body and exuding confidence may allow them to feel that they can do the same thing.

F: Empowered, enthusiastic, motivated

A: I speak about my journey honestly with other people.
I continue to show up and deliver truth in my business no matter what I look like.

R: My ideal clients are people like me, and they will be attracted to work with me because of my value of authenticity

ANSWER

Hello!

This is a great beginning work...

The first place I would look is the C.... it's not neutral. Larger body is an opinion not a fact. Larger than what? I would suggest that the C: teaching health & nutrition my body the rest is a T.

C: teaching health & nutrition with my body
TD:
??My body is too large to teach nutrition and health???
Nobody is going to take me seriously.
I don't look healthy to other people.
My body shape reflects poorly on my professional goals.
I need to lose weight to be able to get clients who trust me.

Next, you need to flush out each T individually. This is really important for you to see and become aware of how through your action you create the R currently present in your life. 1 T to 1 F to 1 R. This is where 80% of the work is in self-coaching.

Remember that your R is proving your T right. So for each model, how are you creating the R reflecting your T through your actions?

C: teaching health & nutrition with my body
T Nobody is going to take me seriously.
F
A's
R

C: teaching health & nutrition with my body
T I don't look healthy to other people
F
A's
R

C: teaching health & nutrition with my body
T My body shape reflects poorly on my professional goals
F
A's
R

C: teaching health & nutrition with my body
T I need to lose weight to be able to get clients who trust me
F
A's
R

Once this is done, you can take time and reflect and ask yourself, "What A or F do I want to create for myself. Based on your first sentence, it has to do with confidence.

C: teaching health & nutrition with my body
T
F: Confidence
A's:
R

Next step is what actions do I want to take?

C: teaching health & nutrition with my body
T
F : Confidence
A’s: ______, ______, _______, ________
R

And then what T(1) do I need to think to create confidence and these A's?

And then the R will be proving your T right.

So go back to work and resubmit when you have it reworked. Take your time; this is BIG work. As a practitioner in a non-conforming body to the thin ideal, this is everything. This model will be how you will create business success and transform people's life.

Good work!

Below is a thought model for my body. I'm having trouble with the result line. Can you tell me if the result seems correct for this model?

C: My Body
TD:
I liked my smaller body better
My stomach is bigger than I want it to be
I've been eating too much lately
T:
My stomach is bigger than I want it to be
Action:
Body checking in the mirror, only from the side angle to see how much my stomach pokes out
Result:
I keep disrespecting my body


ANSWER


Hello sister!

So you are working on your unintentional model about your body... well done so far.

The F line is missing... Should I assume this is an error? For the R line: Part of the reason why you might be struggling with finding the R is you haven't flushed out the A-line enough. You are listing one A: body checking but what else do you do when you think "My stomach is bigger than I want it to be".... Here's so A's I have observed from coaching women on the Body image model before: 1- Overthinking about their body part, comparing their body part to prior time or other people, ruminating about perceived reasons why their body part is too "big", judging themselves for having done the "perceived action" that " cause the body part to be bigger", refusal to buy clothes that fir the said bigger body part properly, impacted freedom in the sexual interaction, commenting or mind judging their body part, physical or psychological restriction of " bad food" that "caused" the body part to get bigger, perfectionist expectation of what the "body part" should look like, etc...These are just some ideas for you to get you started. Once you can see all the A's you create the R will become more evident. Remember that you create your R that proves your T right. So if you T is "My stomach is bigger than I want it to be" you will create an R that your stomach is bigger than you think it should be. The other important element here is to flush out each T in its own model. Working on your intentional body for your body image is one of the most profound works women can do. It takes time to flush out all the T and A created by the socialization to diet culture and patriarchy for women's bodies.

When working on core beliefs like body image I like to keep my journal open and keep coming back to it over days... daily 10 or so minutes of work. In between sessions, I keep thinking about it and it becomes clearer. Keep submitting as you progress.

Well done sister!

Ok, all my life, I had the thin privilege. I grew up an intuitive eater. In my twenties, I competed in bodybuilding competitions. I did well, and that’s how I acquired my self-worth. I stopped competing, had two children and exercised for stress relief and health. Oprah shows introduced me to her “health experts.” I started to exercise a certain amount that they recommended. I like to research, so I ended up doing a lot of reading on nutrition and exercise. I become somewhat orthorexic.

I finally knew it was craziness, and I came upon Intuitive eating and the work of Ellen Satter. I changed my eating back to intuitive eating. I’ve followed HAES and that world for years. I agree wholeheartedly. Over the past ten years, my body has added fat, and I’m just getting used to my new body. I haven’t weight trained in years, and I want to get back weight training twice weekly. I’ve yet to commit.

I’m guessing my own internal pressure that I “ should” look like I used to is part of the problem. The other problem is the dietary recommendations from the Canadian Diet Association gets into my head. The reason is that I’m aging, and age-related illnesses can start and will start to show up. After all, we can’t live forever. Too much knowledge of the “right way” to move and feed my body is the problem. Thanks!

ANSWER

Hello!

I'm not sure exactly what you would like coaching on. I can't find a question to answer. We didn't receive a self-coaching model either. So at this point, the best that I can do is to comment and suggest the next step. If this is not what you expected, please resubmit a direct question or a self-coaching model.

First comment: Well done for you to recognize your thin privilege. That said, having thin privilege doesn't spare us from being fatphobic or having internalized the fear of fatness. It would appear that is what is happening for you. I make this assumption because of this sentence: "I'm guessing my own internal pressure that I "should". This would indicate to me a fear of being fat.

So this would be my first coaching for you. You need to put this through the self-coaching process. We teach you how to do self-coaching inside the CONFIDENT course: Lesson 2-7.

So, in this case, I would suggest your C: Body size.

The second observation is around food. Although you have extensively studied Ellyn Sater and Intuitive Eating, it would appear that you are still holding "food judgement" or "healthy/ unhealthy food" beliefs within you. This is why you are struggling to process the "recommendations from the Canadian Diet Association"... you haven't yet changed your beliefs about certain food, and now you experience a dilemma.

We teach you this inside PEACEFUL.- Lesson 4. We lead us to use the self-coaching model to neutralize all food.

C: Food

And the last observation would be about your internal belief system about health. Looks like you have a lot of thoughts (what you described as knowledge), and you haven't yet made a decision on what you will believe or not. As a result, you are conflicted and uncertain.

C: Health while aging
TD
x
y
x
x
x
x

F: Uncertain/ Conflicted.

Stage 1 of Self-coaching asks you to inventory all of your thoughts and see what they create. Stage 2 of Self-coaching requires that you decide what you will think going forward. I think this is the key for you.

I would suggest you watch the "Health Goals the Non-Diet Way" Masterclass replay and work through all the exercises.

Hopefully, this coaching will be helpful. Be sure to ask a direct question or share your self-coaching model even if not complete next time so we can address your needs better.