Help with a thought ladder

I’d like some help creating a thought ladder. For four years, I was on disability and unable to work. I’ve since returned to my job and have been back for a year, but I still feel like I’m not totally capable. When I do the self-coaching, I want to feel capable and confident but what I really feel is incapable and inferior. I’d love some help creating a thought ladder that takes me from feeling incapable (ruminating over and analyzing my day) to feeling capable.

Thanks!

ANSWER

Hello and great work showing up for coaching. Let’s create this thought ladder…

The first place we need to start is to determine how you create the reality (R) of “not being totally capable in my job”.

Based on what you shared, this is what your unintentional model looks like:

C: My job
TD:
I’m not totally capable
being on disability makes me less than
Being disable cause me to be out of the loop in my profession (Projecting here…)
…..
F: inferior, incapable
A: ruminating over my day, overthinking about my day and over-analyzing my day.
R: I’m not totally capable in my job.

And you’d like to create the feeling of being capable and confident.

So we recommend focusing on 1 emotion at a time. Let’s say you want to create confidence.

C: My job
T
F: Confident
A:
R:

If you feel confident in your job, what actions would you take? I’m going to project (due to limited information provided about the job or current thoughts about the job): Would it be safe to assume you’d want to make decisions quicker? (less ruminating) Stop questioning your choices and move into action? Make a plan and stick with it for the day?

C: My job
T:
F: Confident
A: Allow myself limited time to make decisions, stick to my decision and start working, disregard other people’s opinions about my choices?
R:

Next, you need to figure out the thought you could think of in the future that would create confidence. I have provided 1 suggestion but given the limited details you have provided, it’s very difficult for us to determine the thought that would be helpful.

C: My job
T: I have the abilities to be an excellent _____ (fill in blank to your profession)
F: Confident
A: Allow myself limited time to make decisions, stick to my decision and start working, disregard other people’s opinions about my choices?
R: I’m an excellent ____ (fill in blank to your profession)

I’m going to follow my hunch here and say that the Circumstance here is not really your job as much as how you process your disability in relationship to your job (or former disability if you are fully recovered). I think that what really is impacting your ability to feel capable at work….

Have you worked through your thought about your disability or former diagnosis of your disability? Is it possible that you are still holding judgement about it?

C:_____ (disability)

It’s similar to women being in a larger body and thinking that their body size is creating their confidence.

We often start the thought ladder with:

Bottom: It’s possible for women like me (in a large body) to be confident.

There are women like me (in a large body) that are confident.

I’m becoming a woman in a large body that is confident about herself and her abilities.

I’m a woman in a large body that is confident about herself and her abilities.

I’m a confident woman.

How does this resonate with you?

We’d love to hear from you. Perhaps fill in the blanks and resubmit, and we will help you with the next steps.