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Hi! I understand that thinness does not equal heath. However, if I can eat what I like, when and how much won’t, I just end up getting fatter. I am only just beginning this course so I am struggling with shifting my mindset. If I try to explain this way of thinking to people it just sounds like I am giving up and it’s an excuse to eat anything. Does that make sense?


Your question makes total sense. It makes sense because that’s what society wants you to think, be and act.

These thoughts are what have been keeping you dieting for years. So yes, you have to shift the way you think.

The way to change your mindset is to use the self-coaching framework. This is why we teach you the self-coaching framework right away in Conquer & Thrive. Your thoughts are what create the way you feel and produce the action you take with food, health and everything else in life.

There are 3 stages in self-coaching: 1- Awareness of what is going on 2- Choice- empowering yourself to decide to change what is 3- Creating your new intentional thoughts.

So I would suggest you create a few self-coaching models to create awareness (step 1).

C: Eating
If I eat what I want to will get fatter
If I eat how much I want, I will get fatter, and I’m sure there are more thoughts, aka how you trust yourself. How you trust your body to eat, etc…

When you individualize each thought, you will see how it impact your life:
C: Eating
T: If I eat what I want, I will get fatter.
F: How do you feel when you think this thought? Anxious, scared, depressed???
A: When you feel this F (above), what action do you take? So, for exao0mple, when you feel anxious, what behavior do you have? Do you desire to numb? Do you procrastinate? Do you avoid? Do you disconnect?
R: when you take the actions above, what results do you create? So for example, when you feel anxious and try to avoid feeling your feelings and numb the discomfort with Netflix, do you end up eating emotionally and overeat?

The other portion of your question is a different circumstance that you are having thoughts about…

C: discussion with others
I need to validate my decision
Others will think I make an excuse.
Others will think I have given up on myself.

If you follow the self-coaching we teach you, you need to individualize each thought and discover F-A(s)-R.

Does thinking this way is producing you the results you want in your life? If not, then you can create a new way of thinking with the intentional self-coaching model.

I would suggest you create the stage 1 Unintentional models for both Circumstance and submit them here. We can coach you.

Then you create a new way of thinking about each, aka shift your mindset.