However, I know I am still overeating a lot which worries me. I had the expectation that at some point, I will be able to eat when hungry and stop when full.
C: C&T program
T: Doing this for 2 months now, seeing results that I am the heaviest I’ve been in 10 years
T: This program is full of ready-made T like “your weight has no impact on your health” or “this is because of patriarchy and diet culture”
T: I allow myself to eat everything I want but I still overeat at almost every meal.
T: Again another thing, I had so many expectations
T: All the coaching is about always the same model.
F: Disappointed
A: Want to give up. Listening to audio but not into it. Lost in what to do next and what to practice. Don’t want to do the work and invest my time, eat everything I want.
R: I create the reality that this will not work for me
ANSWER
Hello!
First, I want to start by saying that “What is happening to you right now, It’s 100% normal. The process of reacquainting yourself with your intuitive eater is not easy for most women.
Then, I want you to smile and tell yourself nothing has gone wrong!
Since your brain is not liking to be coached using the self-coaching model, I will offer you long-form in a few areas:
Why are you doing this?
The goal of unlearning diet culture is to claim back our power over our own bodies. We start with food using the process of intuitive eating using our eating cues.
You were born an intuitive eater up to the day where you started your first diet… Then the process of dieting robbed you from this beautiful connection of trust and respect with your body.
Are you willing to take the bodyweight off the table and make this an experience about trusting and respecting your body?
Are you willing to work on developing a relationship with your body of unconditional support and partnership?
When you say you had “expectations”, truly these are expectations for your body. And “once more” it may sound like you think your body has failed you because it didn’t stabilize in 2 months.
What if with every program the issue was never your body but your expectations towards your body?
Here’s the big question:
What if you had no expectations towards your body but only acceptance, trust, and respect? What would happen then?
Private Podcast #19 HEALING IS NOT LINEAR & #39 DOING HARD THINGS will help you with this.
Worries about overeating
You say you are worried about overeating…
What exactly are you worried about? Name it.
The model you have provided has one potential answer:
Fear of Current Body Weight
The internalized fear of fatness is rearing “its ugly nose” and as a consequence, you are not trusting your body.
I suggest, work on body acceptance as a way to stop worrying about overeating and slowing down the pendulum swing. (go back and watch Lesson 4 where we teach about the pendulum swing)
With patience, this thought, “I had the expectation that at some point, I will be able to eat when hungry and stop when full.“ will become reality BUT not in the space of wanting to control your body.
You and your body will naturally want to eat when hungry and eat to fullness not because you have to but because you want to. Your body will have the trust in you that never again will you restrict food and whenever it needs food, you will provide it; so no need to “overeat”.
We have a great podcast on this process of change.
Private podcast #13 THE PROCESS OF CHANGE.
It will help you tremendously.
Next steps
Remember nothing has gone wrong… everything is going exactly as it should. Your body is working to trust you and you need to continue to work on trusting your body. I think what is really holding you back is the internalized fear of fatness (internalized fatphobia).
That’s the part where you need to work on. The only way to work on accepting your body is by examining your thoughts and changing them.
We recently hosted a clinic on “Normalizing Weight Gain” you may want to watch it and work thru the exercises it will help you process body acceptance faster.
Private podcast #24 “NEVER LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN? & NAVIGATING DIET CULTURE WITH MY FAMILY” and #23 FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY BODY may also help you.
I would also highly suggest that you register for live coaching with Stephanie so she can work this LIVE with you.
You can do this, my sister! You can do hard things and create the relationship of peace with food and liberation with your body that you deserve. We are right here behind you cheering you up! We are holding the possibility. There’s no other possibility, I mean going back on a diet? Nahhh because you know that doesn’t work.
Go out and try this and report back! We will be right here for you.