Circumstance/Event: Eating after a satisfying dinner
Thought: I want something crunchy
Feeling/Emotion: Snacking at night gives me a feeling of being comfortable at home, warmth, and being safe with my routine.
Actions:
• Find something on TV and consume whatever comes to mind.
• Get wrapped up in the game of “what comes next, salty, creamy, or crunchy?”
• Disconnect from my body‘s needs and permit myself to continue eating because apparently, a part of me needs the activity of eating to feel normal/relaxed.
Result:
• Uncomfortable belly, heartburn causing sleep problems
• Some feelings of regret/shame (getting better about the shame)
• Telling myself to show self-compassion because this is a season, a part of my healing journey.
• The need to buy bigger clothes.
• I put self-coaching on my to-do list for tomorrow, so I can go back to being satisfied with dinner (seriously, it’s on my to-do list every day)
Thought download:
• Dinner is over, and now it’s time to snack and turn the TV on because this is what I do.
• Wonder what would be the best way to make popcorn.
• One day, I will naturally stop eating after a satisfying dinner, but that day is not today.
• I really should read a book, but watching TV would be a better treat or reward.
ANSWER
Hello!
I love your question. It shows that you are really working on the process. First off, it’s normal that it’s a bit harder when you are actually “doing the work” for your own thoughts—good work showing up for coaching. Your human brain (did you give a name yet?) is trying to defend its autonomy over your thoughts.
Your brain, mine is Lizzy, see you’re doing the work and resist easily showing you what is going on. It’s 100% normal.
Let’s do an in-depth review of the great work you have. You’ll notice I have to reorganize the flow of it to make it easier.
Circumstance/Event: Eating after a satisfying dinner
Perfect C… neutral and specific.
Next
Thought download:
• Dinner is over, and now it’s time to snack and turn the TV on because this is what I do.
• Wonder what would be the best way to make popcorn.
• One day, I will naturally stop eating after a satisfying dinner, but that day is not today.
• I really should read a book, but watching TV would be a better treat or reward.
Great TD. This is all the unintentional T’s your human brain is shining about the C.
Next is where we need to course correct a bit… We need to look at each T’s individually to see what they create in your life. Meaning we take each T in your TD and individualize them into their own model. Right now, what I see is a list of F, A’s, and R, but I can’t see which T creates them.
That’s where the “juice” of self-coaching reside. Seeing what our thought create and deciding which T is no longer what we want to think…and picking new T to create new A’s and R.
For example,
C: Eating after a satisfying dinner
Thought: I want something crunchy
Feeling/Emotion: Comfort
A’s: Numbing myself by watching TV / Overthink about food / Overthinking about my next food choice / Avoid feeling my body’s need.
R: Give yourself permission to continue eating
I’ll pick another T from your TD and complete a model using me as an example as this may help you.
C: Eating after a satisfying dinner
T: One day, I will naturally stop eating after a satisfying dinner, but that day is not today.
F: Resentful
A: Ruminate in my thought as to why today is not the day / Overthink about the intuitive eating process / Question myself as to maybe I’m doing it wrong or missing something / I eat past fullness / I feel uncomfortable in my belly/heartburn causing sleep problems
R: I create the expectation that one day I’ll able to control my eating.
So your turn now. Explore each thought and see what they create. Go back and revise the Lesson 2 worksheet and use the cue question we have for each line. This may help you.
C: Eating after a satisfying dinner
T: Dinner is over, and now it’s time to snack and turn the TV on because this is what I do.
F:
A’s:
R:
C: Eating after a satisfying dinner
T: Wonder what would be the best way to make popcorn.
F:
A’s:
R:
C: Eating after a satisfying dinner
T: I really should go read a book, but watching TV would be a better treat or reward.
F:
A’s:
R:
Now I’ll coach you a bit on your intuitive eating.
When you crave a certain type of food like crunchy food after eating a full meal, this may be an indication that you need to integrate more crunchy food into your actual meal. This is often present in people who restricted CARBS or processed food. Try to integrate crunchy food into more of your evening meal and see what happens.
Also, I’d suggest experimenting and increasing the volume of food at dinner. Say bump up the food on your plate by 25% and see what happens. Do your urge to eat at night reduce when you eat more at dinner? Is it possible that what you think is satisfying is actual not enough food, and that’s what your body is asking for more? Often dieters think they eat enough, but it’s not.
Also, in your TD, I can see you are holding on to the thought that one day you may not “eat at night”… this is what we call mental restriction. What if it never stopped? Then what?
I hope this helps!