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I’m still working on the modules for Confident, and I realized that my food habits, a coping mechanism for numbing feelings, make me feel lonely, afraid, and ashamed. I’m currently trying to work on myself with this program in the middle of a huge work-related problem. I’m triggered nearly every day, and I’m physically and mentally exhausted. I don’t eat well, and I don’t move my body. I try to set small goals of walking 250 steps an hour and drink water to stay hydrated. I think I am experiencing burnout, and I just want to eat comfort food. I’m struggling with self-coaching to help me turn my thoughts around. I’m in a very negative headspace, and I’m aware of it, but I don’t know how to break it.


Hi there.

First, thank you for coming forward and getting coached. Great work on becoming aware of your coping and habits around overwhelm. This is worth celebrating. Now, let’s look at where you are first for you to move forward.

You state that you’re struggling with self-coaching to help you turn your thoughts around; however, you haven’t shared what you’ve coached yourself on so far. As you have learned in Confident, your thought creates the emotions you are experiencing. Overwhelm is an emotion created by the thought you think to keep you safe and stay focused on inaction by looking at all the things you are not doing.

I would suggest you start by doing a self-coaching model. The first step is to identify the neutral circumstance. Some potential Cs for your model could be: work-related situation (be very specific about the situation), trying to work on me (what does this mean? Be specific about what you are doing).

Next, do your thought download and flush out all your thoughts about this neutral C… be detailed. This will likely create a lot of relief to see these thoughts out of your mind onto paper. You can create a model for the main 4-5 thoughts and see which thought creates which feelings. This will help you better identify which feelings are driving what actions. Then, you can have a better picture of where to start creating an intentional model to change things.

I would love to see your model on the dominant feeling you have right now.

I hope that helps.