Body Neutrality, Neutralizing Negativity

I thought I was getting towards body neutrality. Then I started to Liberate and did the inventory of old thoughts. And bam, I realized I had some heavy thoughts about my body. One that totally resonated with me and which I accepted as FACT all my life was: Thin people find love easily and have plenty of choices. I have held on to so much bitterness and anger because I felt that my body and attractiveness meant I didn’t get relationships. I was so jealous of my friends, felt so abandoned, rejected and angry. Punished by society, excluded from love because of patriarchal beauty norms. I hold on to memories from my adolescence and my 20s where I felt excluded from the “fun” and “popular” groups of boys and girls, young men and young women. I remember remarks that men made about my appearance from 37 years ago. Wow, I discovered this rich vein of body negativity which I am convinced is objective truth. A truth that still haunts me and impacts me even in my 20-year loving relationship with my husband!

ANSWER

Hello!

The first thing that strikes me is your opening statement, “I thought I was getting towards body neutrality.”

Why do you speak to this in the past?

It sounds like your “lizard brain” is sending a thought: “See …. you’ll never get there,” and you believe this self-defeating thought. Remember, thoughts are just thoughts; you don’t have to believe any thoughts. You pick the thought that serves you best and leads you toward the goal you want.

If your goal is to make peace with your body… then the T: “See …. you’ll never get there” is likely not going to produce the R: I’m at peace with my body.

From my perspective, it appears that LIBERATE did exactly what it was designed for: peel the next layer of stories and thoughts about your body that needs healing. Sound like your brain was so well-entrenched into the T: “my body and attractiveness meant I didn’t get relationships.” you didn’t even know it wasn’t true into Liberate.

Celebrate this finding! It’s exactly what you needed to change this old belief that was never true and that you falsely believed for decades. Start exploring how you want to think about being attractive. Here’s a hint: don’t make it about others. Be attractive to you, and then you’ll likely attract others!

C: Being Attractive

Hope this helps, sister!