Hi! I’m submitting my homework for Lesson 5, a self-coaching model I did on movement. I know I need feedback to improve my skills (thank you Confidence Bootcamp podcast episode!).
C: Movement
TD: I didn’t move yesterday, and I should have. I’m gaining weight. People who noticed that I had lost weight will judge me. I should make sure to move today. I have to choose the right activity. Dancing isn’t enough movement.
T: I didn’t move yesterday, and I should have.
E: Guilt
A’s: Ruminated on how my plans were not implemented/felt uncomfortable in my clothes / made a commitment to move today.
R: I devalued my authority and put pressure on today.
T: I’m gaining weight.
E: Shame, frustration, anxiety
A’s: Pulled on clothes / spent extra time selecting clothes / analyzed how much I’m working out.
R: Judged myself.
T: I have to choose the right activity.
E: Stressed
A’s: Did not commit to any activity / ruminated about my choices / judged my number of memberships / re-evaluated activities over and over.
R: I didn’t move my body or get the joy out of movement.
ANSWER
Hi there!
I’m glad you showed up for coaching! Great awareness. This shows that you’re working the process. Let’s unpack the models that you’ve shared. I have organized the models to walk you through the process.
Your circumstance is movement – neutral and specific. That’s a great start.
Your TD is almost complete in showing you all the thoughts you have about movement.
Next, we’re going to look at each T individually and see what they’re creating in your life. Putting them individually helps you be specific about what thought is creating what feeling that leads to the actions that create your results.
In your first model, you have two thoughts merged into one, so separate them – I didn’t move yesterday. I should have moved yesterday will create different feelings and lead to different actions and results.
Once you’re clear on the thoughts, you will have a clear picture of your Es and As.
For example, you have the action of “felt uncomfortable in my clothes.” Uncomfortable would go in your E line. Explore that again and see which thought created that feeling.
The R, “I devalued my authority and put pressure on today” is broad. Get specific. What does that mean and look like for you? The more specific you are, the clearer you’ll understand which thought created what result. And remember that your result always proves your T line true.
Second model:
T: “I’m gaining weight” is clear and specific. Separate out your E and model them out.
T1:
E: shame
A:
R:
T2: frustration
E:
A:
R:
T3: anxiety
E:
A:
R:
Third model:
T: “I have to choose the right activity.” This model is great. Revisit your R line – if you didn’t move your body, how would you know that you didn’t “get the joy out of movement”? The R of “not get the joy out of movement” may belong in another model. Once you clean up the rest, you’ll find which thought created that result.
You’re off to a great start. Feel free to share your revised models for coaching.
C: Movement
TD: I didn’t move yesterday, and I should have. I’m gaining weight. People who noticed that I had lost weight will judge me. I should make sure to move today. I have to choose the right activity. Dancing isn’t enough movement.
T: I didn’t move yesterday, and I should have.
E: Guilt
A’s: Ruminated on how my plans were not implemented/felt uncomfortable in my clothes / made a commitment to move today.
R: I devalued my authority and put pressure on today.
T: I’m gaining weight.
E: Shame, frustration, anxiety
A’s: Pulled on clothes / spent extra time selecting clothes / analyzed how much I’m working out.
R: Judged myself.
T: I have to choose the right activity.
E: Stressed
A’s: Did not commit to any activity / ruminated about my choices / judged my number of memberships / re-evaluated activities over and over.
R: I didn’t move my body or get the joy out of movement.
ANSWER
Hi there!
I’m glad you showed up for coaching! Great awareness. This shows that you’re working the process. Let’s unpack the models that you’ve shared. I have organized the models to walk you through the process.
Your circumstance is movement – neutral and specific. That’s a great start.
Your TD is almost complete in showing you all the thoughts you have about movement.
Next, we’re going to look at each T individually and see what they’re creating in your life. Putting them individually helps you be specific about what thought is creating what feeling that leads to the actions that create your results.
In your first model, you have two thoughts merged into one, so separate them – I didn’t move yesterday. I should have moved yesterday will create different feelings and lead to different actions and results.
Once you’re clear on the thoughts, you will have a clear picture of your Es and As.
For example, you have the action of “felt uncomfortable in my clothes.” Uncomfortable would go in your E line. Explore that again and see which thought created that feeling.
The R, “I devalued my authority and put pressure on today” is broad. Get specific. What does that mean and look like for you? The more specific you are, the clearer you’ll understand which thought created what result. And remember that your result always proves your T line true.
Second model:
T: “I’m gaining weight” is clear and specific. Separate out your E and model them out.
T1:
E: shame
A:
R:
T2: frustration
E:
A:
R:
T3: anxiety
E:
A:
R:
Third model:
T: “I have to choose the right activity.” This model is great. Revisit your R line – if you didn’t move your body, how would you know that you didn’t “get the joy out of movement”? The R of “not get the joy out of movement” may belong in another model. Once you clean up the rest, you’ll find which thought created that result.
You’re off to a great start. Feel free to share your revised models for coaching.